Who knows where the road will lead...

Yesterday I spent my last day at a job I've had for 3.5 years. Since I graduated with my bachelor's degree in 1998, I haven't spent that long at any job. That's not to say I got fired, or wasn't good at them, but they were either jobs that I knew were for a finite period of time going in, or I was trying to move up, which, in the world of journalism means moving around, usually at a fairly regular interval.

To be honest, a large part of me was completely giddy and ecstatic when I walked out of there for the last time yesterday. I've been unhappy there for awhile and the thought that I could potentially get stuck there for the rest of my life, however irrational of a thought that may have been, made me quite depressed. It just wasn't where I was supposed to be for that long. Things happened. I was pretty miserable. I was sad to leave behind some very good people and the familiarity of it all, but not sad enough to stay.

People kept asking me yesterday if I was excited about my new job... heck yes I'm excited. I'm very excited. I feel like I'm making a move up and slightly to one side in terms of what I'll be doing in my new position, and that feels promising and challenging and just plain good.

There is a little part of me, though, that is afraid. Afraid of what lies ahead and afraid that what I'm leaving behind isn't so bad after all. I know this is completely normal when talking about the "unknown" but still, I wanted to write it down and document the feelings. When I started the job I just left, I felt the same way and, in the end, I look back and wonder if making that move was the right choice. I honestly don't know. I believe that God has a plan for each of us, and I know there were reasons he put me where I was and kept me there for so long, but it affected my life in a lot of not good ways and well, I am just hoping that I haven't taken another bad step down the wrong road. I don't feel like I have, but I'm just saying... I can't go down another road like the one I've been on. I am praying and I am hopeful this is a much smoother road for me, with a much happier destination.

Today I'm home for a bit, then I'll be off to an appointment with DH, and then to get out and find a few new things to wear for my new job, as well as a new bag to use to carry my stuff to and from the office and maybe a new purse. I've been dressing in this weird, not flattering way for sometime now and I want to start out a bit fresher, more put together, etc. Wish me luck!

By the way, the photo above is from the Napa Valley. It is one of my most favorite photos. See how you can't see where the road ends? Kinda like life isn't it? It was directly in front of me on the desk I just packed up, and will be on my new desk. To me it represents possibility and reminds me to take in the beauty around us on our journeys... something I know I could do a lot more of in my life.