All in a moment...

This is Flopsy. He is an Easter bunny. But for me, he's so much more than just a stuffed bunny to commemorate the commercial part of Easter. For me, he is a reminder of just how blessed I am and that I am here for a reason.

I was first introduced to Flopsy in March 2003. He emerged from my mother's suitcase as I lay in a bed in the ICU. She gave him to me early that year because while she had intended to send him as a present to be sent by mail, she was able to give him to me in person as I lay in a bed, very, very sick.

About 4 years ago, my life changed. I went to the hospital in the heart of Colorado Springs because my mom begged me by phone, from several states away, to go. I had been feeling short of breath for sometime and on that day, a very sad day for me for many other reasons, the pain and pressure in my chest had gotten worse. It was that day that I attended the funeral of a good, sweet woman, Lou. She was the mother of a friend, and he was my dear friend's boyfriend. She was a mentor to me at my job. She died suddenly and I was sad. I thought it was sadness that was making me feel worse.

Several hours and many tests after I walked into the emergency room that evening, as I sat behind I drawn curtain all alone, I heard the doctor say, "She's a walking corpse. I'm surprised she's still alive. Look at them all."

I had blood clots in my lungs. Nearly 80 clots, mostly small, but some large, were scattered throughout my lungs. I had acute pulmonary emboli. They admitted me that night and for the next 8 days I was in the hospital. Three days were spent in the ICU, followed by almost another week in a normal care room.

Sitting there, thinking about Lou, and then what the doctor has said, I knew just how lucky I was to be alive. Rather, I was blessed to be alive. Flopsy, and my mom, and several other caring people, stayed by my side throughout that time... some didn't. In just a few short weeks after that, I would be packing up my life and leaving not only the home I had just become accustomed to in Colorado Springs, but also my existence as I knew it. Flopsy witnessed it all.

The illness and that time changed me. I have not been the same since then. I became stronger. And slowly, throughout these past few years, I've learned to be a bit more discerning on who I call my friends and what I consider important in life. Just two months after I sat in the hospital room, tubes running in and out of my arms, beeps and blips on screens filling the nights, I would spend the first evening out with the man who is now my husband. How quickly and wonderfully things change.

People say that nearly losing your life makes you forever changed and the seems like such an obvious thing to say. How could it not? For me the change was a bit more sudden -- new health issues to face, new town, new job, new life -- all within a very short time.

I think I was beginning to take it for granted a bit recently, as things have been kinda of scattered and rough. But then, as I recently cleaned out the storage unit that contained most of my life when I first moved back to San Diego four years ago, I found Flopsy.

Flopsy reminded me of how scary that time was, how my life has changed (mostly for the better, I must say), the many gifts and blessings God has bestowed upon me since that time -- particularly my husband -- and that I should never forget that He not only gave me life once, but twice, and that I am here for good reason.

So now, Flopsy sits on my night table. I see him first thing in the morning and last thing at night, just before the lights go off and I kiss my husband goodnight. Life is good. We are all blessed. Flopsy makes sure I don't forget.

Happy Easter everyone! He is Risen Indeed!