Imperfect... and it's OK

There are so many things in life that you cannot see when you're standing in a deep hole.

It is true, you can use that hole to help shield yourself from the things outside that could hurt you, wound your soul in a way from which you are not sure you can recover. But standing in the hole and using its walls to shield yourself from everything does other things to you as well.

First, standing in that hole you feel small -- very small. And when you're feeling small, you start to feel unworthy of many things. Those things include things like respect, love, joy don't seem to find you in that hole. And when you're stuck in that hole you can't crawl out to find those things either.

Feeling worthy and wholeheartedness are two things I am focused on this year. Brene Brown is a social science researcher and has written several books on the concepts of shame, worthiness and wholeheartedness, and I have found them to be so enriching. I am finishing this book now (it's a quick read, but I'm going through it twice and marking pages, etc.) and I read this book of hers a few years ago and was not prepared for how powerful it would be for me.

The climb out of that hole is NOT easy and takes a conscious effort, but I think it's worth it. Choosing the word BE as my word for the year was a conscious decision based on the idea that if I can be true to myself, be present in situations, even if they're painful, and be my most authentic self, I will be the best me possible.

I've been in several situations this week where I have been extremely vulnerable and I think it has paid dividends for me. Up next is for me to read Daring Greatly by Brene and see where that takes me.

I felt it was important to share this part of my journey with the few people who read here.

Brene has done two TED talks and I wanted to embed them here, but Blogger isn't letting me, so here's a link to her first one: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html