Like a frantic moth stuck in a rushing river of molasses...

Can you picture it? A gentle moth, it's legs trapped in this gooey, oozing river of sticky mess. It's wings, flutter furiously, the moth trying to break free from getting sucked away to places unknown. A sea of uncertainty awaits the gentle creature.

Welcome to the molasses mess my friends. Perhaps you can hold out a stick for my to climb onto down river? I'll keep looking for that stick, but until then, I'll struggle to break free of the slime.

Usually I try to keep it rather light and upbeat here, but sorry to say, that ain't happenin' for this post. I'm just going to lay it out as is and let you think what you may. Now, more than ever, I am realizing I cannot control what others think and believe. I can only do my best, have the most noble intentions as often as possible and try and give as much up to God as possible.

I'll start with the worst. My mom, who is my best friend next to my husband, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Both she and I were sure the doctor was going to say it was a cyst right up until the moment the doctor said, "this is not the news anyone wants to hear, but you have cancer." It was at that moment the world slowed WAY down, like slow motion in movies when the peak of disaster strikes. Yep, that was this moment. After that moment, we both worked hard to listen to everything the doctor said and remember it all. Next time we visit a doctor, I'm definitely taking a notepad. My mom is so strong though and she's going about this battle she's undertaking with such courage and quiet determination I have not a doubt that she will be standing, victorious in this battle with her fist pumped in the air, when all is said and done.

Right now she's doing all of the research to make the best treatment decision for herself and I'm doing anything I can to help. Surgery is definitely in the future, the exact date has not been set. She's getting a second opinion on the best course of treatment next week. When surgery has been scheduled, I will definitely post on here and would appreciate prayers, good vibes, positive thoughts, pleasing karma -- whatever you feel comfortable and confident with sending her way. The bottom line is that I want to her to be healthy and OK. Whatever it takes, I'm ready to do it.

Not that these other things compare in importance, but the next thing is that my husband is still out of work. He was laid off at the end of last year and despite the incredible amount of effort he's put into the job search, he's still searching. He has, however, had a few promising interviews as of late, so if you could please pray that one of these jobs is a good fit for him and he's given the position, I would be forever grateful. As you probably know (and if you don't, can I have a room at the inn located under the rock that you've been staying at) the job market/economy isn't so good right now, so everyone seems to be looking and that doesn't make the hunt easier, that's for sure. Right along with that lack of a job comes the money concerns and we have those too, so yeah, a good, fulfilling job for him would be great right about... NOW.

In addition, things at my work have been tense to say the least. It's a combination of many factors and I'm not going to go into details (because I don't want anything too detailed out in the blogosphere), but let's just say that our department has been swamped and that combined with other factors has made the work weeks difficult and being here some days tries my patience more than I'd like to admit.

Also, I have been wanting to and beating myself up over the fact that I'm still not back on the good eating and working out bandwagon. It just NEEDS to happen now. I'm sick of looking/feeling the way that I do, but only I can change it and as motivated as I am in my mind, all of these other things swirling around chip away at my resolve from the moment I wake up. I think I need to take on this battle to change the entire way I'm living with baby steps. Big leaps just aren't going to work at this time in my life. So, next Monday I start with Step 1 -- 45 minutes or more of exercise 3 times a week. You better hold me to it!

And finally -- I've lost my lovely, nearly new cell phone that my husband lovingly bought me just a few short months ago. I really liked that phone and have only lost/had stolen a phone once in my life. But, at the wedding I photographed last weekend the phone disappeared. People have looked, I've posted notices on Craigslist, etc. and nothing. I'm super bummed. I guess I'm just not supposed to have a nifty phone. :(

So, there's the molasses. My wings are fluttering and I'm exercising my prayer muscles. What else can I do? I'm not going to promise "more later" because I've done that a lot recently and not delivered. I don't want to make another statement I can't back-up. I hope that I will post sometime soon.